The Hardest Thing to Achieve in Life
Balance. It’s balance. I’m speaking from my own personal filter, so take it for what it’s worth. I’m aware there are entire countries that are better at this than me. Good for them, for me it’s been a lifelong pursuit.
My biggest issue here is that I want to do it all. I’m driven, I have raging FOMO, I want to be everything, everywhere, all at once. If I’m engaged in something and I find out you’re engaged in something else, it’s not that I want to do what you’re doing instead. I want to do both. And also what the next person is doing, and the one next to her. I wish I didn’t need sleep. I could accomplish so much more.
And it’s also not that I’m physically or emotionally exhausted because of how I live my life. Quite the opposite, doing gives me energy to do more. So why is this even a question? I’m not sure, I’ll go do some research and get back to you on that.
Work Hard, Play Hard
This is our family motto, and we all take it very seriously, although it looks different for each of us. I’ve also found it changes based on my stage of life.
Prior to kids, I would have driven across town to a 5:30 a.m. aerobics class before work, five days a week. Hubby and I would always find time for a game of Frisbee or racquetball, for hiking and parties. At the time, I didn’t think about what the kids call work-life balance, but that time period may have been the unwittingly perfect model of just that. Too bad in those days I didn’t sit and ponder such things so I could congratulate myself.
When I was raising kids while working as an educator, I woke up around five in the morning to do work stuff or make lunches. After getting home, it was kid-time until 7:30 sharp. Bedtime meant about an hour to ourselves before dropping into bed too. Weekend playtime was about the family, and we went to story hour or the park or both. Somewhere in there we did our best to keep a clean house. It was a lot, but it was lovely. Balance, though? Not really a thing.
Once the kids grew up, I started working out again. Now, arguably, exercise should be counted as work, not play. I mean it’s not called “playing out.” It’s something I want to, but also have to do, to stay healthy as I age. But I do love it, so I’d put it in both columns and call it even.
At that point, work was still a time-consuming thing. At least my forty-minute drive home was now chilling-out time as opposed to getting-into-mom-mode time. And once I got home, I was able to play, ie. take the dog for a leisurely walk, sit outside and read a book, do some writing. But it still felt like work dominated my days and weekends and even some nights.
The advantage of this period was more time to ponder, though; to think about things like work-life balance, to look back and examine how I spent my time throughout my life to that point.
I’ve Come to the Conclusion It’s Hopeless
Now I’m retired and once again off-balance, but in a really different way than ever before.
Work is doing a load of laundry, hitting up the grocery store, or “working out,” which as I said before could also be counted as play. Most of my time is spent in travel, hiking, hanging with friends, writing, reading, taking photographs, relaxing at the beach or pool. I’m sleeping more now that alarms are a thing of the past and spending a ton more time outdoors than I ever could as a teacher. But balance? Nah, and I’m okay with that.
As I already said, the work hard/play hard thing has changed through the stages of my life and looking back it makes sense that the ratios rose and fell and never really settled. I guess it’s a futile attempt to work for absolute balance in life; at least it has been for me. So, I’ll chalk this off as just another exercise in writing my way to meaning, or possibly writing my way to inanity. Either way, I took the time to set down these thoughts and share them with the world so that’s something.
I’d give you advice on how to work towards the lofty goal of finding equilibrium between responsibility and recreation in your own life, but as you can see, I got nothin’.