Procrastination Nation
I’m sitting here at my laptop writing this article mid-morning on a Wednesday. I should feel really great about this. I’ve been so busy, writing has taken a bit of a backseat on the priority list.
But the truth is, I should be out for a run right now. That was my plan. I ate my banana and checked the weather, but I haven’t gotten my gear on yet because…well, there’s really no good reason. In fact, I have every reason to get ready and go soon because my runs take about an hour and I need time afterwards for stretching and a shower before heading to a writing workshop at noon. As I sit here pecking away, that window of opportunity is quickly closing. But is that changing anything?
I just realized the garden needs fertilizing. I’ll be right back.
Okay, there were a lot of weeds to pull, and I had to cut some peonies for the vases all over my house, and the dog needed brushing, which I realized as I was walking out the back door and saw gobs of fur all over the kitchen floor, which I should also sweep.
But Mom called so I sat outside to chat and while I was there, a robin swooped down and grabbed a beakful of dog fur out of the grass and flew it up to her nest in the tree, which made me want to try to capture that on video.
Now I’m back and all that took another thirty-minute chunk out of the time I had slotted for my run, but is that getting me lacing up? It’s not, because now I’m into writing this article.
A glance at the clock and I see it’s getting close to too late, but there’s still time, but then I hear my stomach rumble, and I think oh no. The banana is digested and that means I’m probably going to bonk running my five miles because I’ll have no fuel to count on. Damn, I’d need to eat something but nothing heavy because cramps are a thing on a full stomach, and then it’s going to throw off my plan to eat a late morning meal before I drive up to Mahopac for the workshop. And that’s important because it’s Wednesday and Wednesday is my ice cream day, and I’ll be stopping at King Kone on my way home to get a scoop of cappuccino crunch.
And now my whole plan for this morning is screwed up, and tomorrow it’s going to rain and I really don’t like running in the rain so either I will have to run in the rain or wait until later Thursday when it’s supposed to stop raining and plan my whole day of eating and activities around that, when I had planned all that for today. And now I’m mad at myself.
And that’s the whole thing with procrastinating, isn’t it? There’s just no winning when you allow yourself to not do something you wanted or needed to do because no matter how you tell yourself it’s fine, you’ll get to it, it wasn’t meant to be, there’s all these damned feelings that come with that. I’m sitting here feeling let down with myself, worrying about whether this will become a pattern that will lead to me quitting running forever, disappointed that I blew off something important.
I hear my daughter’s voice in my head asking, “But are you in the middle of training for a race, Mom? Because otherwise, it’s not a big deal to wait a day for a run.” I’m not. So wise, that daughter of mine. I know all that in my head, but my mind is giving me a spanking anyway.
Why do I procrastinate, if I know all this about the consequences for procrastinating? To be honest, I don’t do it that much and thank goodness because I’d just be mad at myself all the time. I guess it happens when my subconscious is trying to give me a message; or maybe that’s just psychobabble justification speaking.
The consequences of putting off my run today aren’t all negative after all. At least I got an article done.